Lost

I lost i the very place I’ve known so well (or so I thought)… The very place I thought was right for me.
My place. Where I’m supossed to do.
My dream. Which I thought I’d succesfully achieved.
I even lost myself.
Not knowing where I’m going to go.
What I’m going to do next.
What kind of life I’d want..

Perhaps I’ve been blinded by a dream that I thought was mine. Mine to reached. Mine to achieved.
My place.
My dreams.
Defines me.
Constructed me.

I thought this is my place.. A home.
Something I love the most.
Yet now I feel like this could be the thing I detest the most.
Resented just by the idea I’d taking part in it someday.
Frightened that I’d endangered people or things I love the most.

I lost my idealism which was brought me here.
Gave me a place to hold on tight and endured all the pain.
It’s like being slapped and stammered back to the reality.
Where my dreams, my idealisms, could not live.
Where I could not live.

I lost.
What I really want?
What am I?
Is this really me?
Or I’m just being someone people around me like to see? Just to please them.
I don’t know. Really don’t know.

-Just a Random Thought-

If I remember correctly…I wrote this in my last year in university U_U

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